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he took my baby..how is this legal?

I have a really long and complicated story--so please bare with me.

On 8/9/10 I gave birth to a beautiful baby girl. Sadly she was taken from me by her father when she was only 4 weeks old. She is now 2 months old and I haven't seen her in a month. My daughter's father lived with me at the time. He was supposed to go away for a weekend trip to visit his family. They lived 3 hours away. It was agreed that he would return home Monday with our child. During early hours of Monday I asked him a question about where our relationship was going. Perfectly normal question after just having a baby with someone I think. I got sad when I didn't get the answer I was hoping for. After the birth of my daughter I had developed postpartum depression and was having cry spells and experiencing some pretty bad depression and I purposely cut myself once. I used to be a self-injurer but have recovered. I went off my antidepressant when I discovered my pregnancy to protect my unborn child, and once I was done breastfeeding her (only did it 5 days) I went back on my antidepressant. Antidepressants take 4 to 6 weeks to build up in a persons body before they are effective. My boyfriend returned home that Monday without my daughter, told me we'd get her the next day after we did some talking. Instead he breaks up with me, demands I sign him over custody or he'd expose my past history of depression and self-injury to the court. I didn't sign over custody. The next day Tuesday, he asked what stuff of my daughter's he could take. Him being the biological father, I thought he was allowed to take her and I wanted her to have the things she needed, so i let him take stuff. I came home and EVERYTHING was gone. Every wipe, every piece of clothing, every momento, her footprints, everything! He took it ALL! Furniture gone, every diaper. Later that Tuesday I get a call from the courts. he filed for emergency custody and said that I was an unfit mother and wouldnt feed the baby in his absence, and that he felt the baby wasnt safe. He said I tried to stab him. Said I had pills and razors lying everywhere that my 2 yr old son had access to. He said I am addicted to anti-nausea medicine and laxatives. All are NOT true. I have witnesses who saw me feed my daughter the 2 occassions my boyfriend was out of the house. I NEVER tried to stab him or ANYONE. I have no pills or razors lying around. The antinausea medicine I was supposedly addicted to was prescribed to me during the pregnancy for morning sickness and I took it so I wouldnt puke my guts up all the time. The laxatives I need to use the restroom or I cant go at all. Yes I used to cut myself, yes I accidentally did during my postpartum depression. no I never abused either of my children. both are cared for. child services was called in on this cause of my ex boyfriend and they found nothing in my house and saw my son is being cared for. Yet the court granted my boyfriend temporary custody of my daughter. Could it because I didn't make the hearing? I thought I needed an attorney. I thought an attorney was a must have or you cant show up..so I didnt. I tried to receive counsel but was denied by legal aid since there was no immediate threat of danger. We were never married and in Ohio an unmarried mother automatically has full custody of a child. He had her 3 days in his possession with NO custody rights. I found this law out through a prosecuting attorney in my county. This case was also out of venue--it was in a different county than my daughter resides in. As soon as I found out that I had FULL custody rights I started calling my boyfriend and demanding he bring her home. I received no responses. I filed a police report and NOTHING ever came out of it. He kidnapped a child but somehow thats ok? I have a lawyer now and she says its going to be a tough fight. Since I didnt attend the first hearing the judge already has in his head that everything my ex boyfriend is claiming is true..which its NOT. I also just read online that once a temporary custody arrangement is in order that it can be considered permanent because I judge will rarely change a custody arrangement. Do I stand any chance at all of getting my 2 month old daughter back? How can he get away with this? Meanwhile I'm rebuying everything he took---cribs, diapers, bottles, changing table, strollers, wipes, everything. Help me to understand how this is legal that he is getting away with this? And how can the law allow me to keep my son in my house if I'm such an "unfit" mother. its hypocritical to say I can have my son (hes from a different father by the way) but not my daughter. I have a psychologist who tested me and said I'm functioning and there is no reason I shouldnt have my daughter. Will my past of self-injury come back to haunt me in court? Help!!!

Public Comments

1. You need to deal with the courts. You are supposed to have shared custody. Don't panic.

2. Amelia, there are two possibilities:

1. You know what you have left out of your story and you need to face it.

2. You don't know what you have left out of your story and you need to live in a rubber room.

Actually in either scenario, the rubber room is a pretty good idea.

And get your tubes tied.

3. You need to ask your lawyer these questions since she has more of the facts available. My guess is that the father will at least retain joint custody. You're right that it doesn't help your situation that you failed to appear at the initial hearing.