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Dogs Vs Cats (humor)?

How to give a cat a pill

1) Pick cat up and cradle it in the crook of your left arm as if holding a baby. Position right forefinger and thumb on either side of cat's mouth and gently apply pressure to cheeks while holding pill in right hand. As cat opens mouth pop pill into mouth. Allow cat to close mouth and swallow.

2) Retrieve pill from floor and cat from behind sofa. Cradle cat in left arm and repeat process.

3) Retrieve cat from bedroom, and throw soggy pill away.

4) Take new pill from foil wrap, cradle cat in left arm holding rear paws tightly with left hand. Force jaws open and push pill to back of mouth with right fore-finger. Hold mouth shut for a count of ten.

5) Retrieve pill from goldfish bowl and cat from top of wardrobe. Call spouse from garden.

6) Kneel on floor with cat wedged firmly between knees, hold front and rear paws. Ignore low growls emitted by cat. Get spouse to hold head firmly with one hand while forcing wooden ruler into mouth. Drop pill down ruler and rub cat's throat vigorously.

7) Retrieve cat from curtain rail, get another pill from foil wrap. Make note to buy new ruler and repair curtains. Carefully sweep shattered figurines and vases from hearth and set to one side for gluing later.

8) Wrap cat in large towel and get spouse to lie on cat with head just visible from below armpit. Put pill in end of drinking straw, force mouth open with pencil and blow down drinking straw.

9) Check label to make sure pill not harmful to humans, drink glass of water to take taste away. Apply band-aid to spouse's forearm and remove blood from carpet with cold water and soap.

10) Retrieve cat from neighbor's shed. Get another pill. Place cat in cupboard and close door onto neck to leave head showing. Force mouth open with dessert spoon. Flick pill down throat with elastic band.

11) Fetch screwdriver from garage and put cupboard door back on hinges. Apply cold compress to cheek and check records for date of last tetanus jab. Throw Tee-shirt away and fetch new one from bedroom.

12) Ring fire brigade to retrieve cat from tree across the road. Apologize to neighbor who crashed into fence while swerving to avoid cat. Take last pill from foil-wrap.

13) Tie cat's front paws to rear paws with garden twine and bind tightly to leg of dining table, find heavy duty pruning gloves from shed. Push pill into mouth followed by large piece of fillet steak. Hold head vertically and pour 2 pints of water down throat to wash pill down.

14) Get spouse to drive you to the emergency room, sit quietly while doctor stitches fingers and forearm and removes pill remnants from right eye. Call furniture shop on way home to order new table.

15) Arrange for RSPCA to collect cat and ring local pet shop to see if they have any hamsters.

HOW TO GIVE A DOG A PILL:

1) Wrap it in bacon.


Legit Question : Which do You prefer? Cats? Dogs or Both
I've had both and believe me I'll take a dog any day.

As for hiding it in food on a cat - both Belladonna and Lucifer ate around and licked the food away from the pill.

Public Comments

1. i like them both but dogs more

2. Haha true... I laughed every time when my dog was on antibiotics. I put it in a miniature peanut butter sandwich and he'd gobble it all up.

I like both but I only have a dog since my brother is allergic to cats.

3. lol cats 4eva

4. dogs rule

5. OMG that is so true. It takes and act of Congress and a Decree from God to give my cats a pill. But hide the dogs pill in something to est snd it is gone.

I prefer both

6. That is hilarious! I was laughing through the whole thing!!! Well written and completely true!!!!!

Very funny :)

Dog person,

7. Dogs. They are your best friend no matter what. Cats see you as there servants and tolerate you when they want to. LOL! Finicky creatures :)

Dog: Food!!!! Thank you! Thank you!!
Cat: You're not doing it fast enough. C'mon hurry up already. That's not enough.

Seriously, I really like cats too, just prefer dogs. They are more lovable and I don't have to wait for my dog to be in the mood to play or snuggle.

8. You can do the same thing with a cat...just with chicken or tuna....i love dogs but i prefer cats

9. That was a very long question, I think few people will scroll to the end.

anyway I have a dog and a cat, and have fed both pills before.

interestingly, initially, it was really easy to feed my cat her pills, probably because a cat's throat is designed to (swallow mice whole), however, after a while, she learnt to regurgitate it after I am done and I begin to realise that there is no way I can feed her medication; it has to be injected.

Cats are however pretty hardy animals. I used to live in a flat and my cat was kept entirely indoors for about 8 years. I rented a ground floor apartment this year and decided that I've had enough of cat poo & urine in my house and started to train my old cat to go out of the house (by only allowing it in the small backyard with a gate that she can squeez through.

Interestingly, after about 2 weeks, she had completely adapted to the outdoors and only comes back 1 or 2 times a day for food!

She has also recovered from her supposedly chronic throat infection! She is also happier and does not pluck her fur from her back any more!!!

I will highly recommend cats for people who like independant pets and don't mnd letting them out of your house (it also means that she has to fend for herself from dogs and other cats and run away from cars, my cat bullies my dog so I knew she'll have little problem with other animals outside).

As for my bull terrier, I can either stuff the pill in his mouth and hold the mouth shut, or i can just use a small piece of bread to wrap the pill. He gobbles it down without knowing what is happening.

All in all, I don't mind both animals, as they have their different characteristics.

Cheers!


10. Very nice.
This is why i use liquid medicine on my kitten!